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Daily Tip:
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| It's been real... |
| 06.19.05 (7:18 pm) [edit] |
Well the time has come..I'm making the move from Tblog..Starting tomorrow I'll be on Blogger for good. Thanks to Rinna and her computer hacking skills I am off to begin my tenure at Nerd university with a full-fledged customized blog. It's loaded with hi-tech fancy computer science that is significantly more intelligent than me. I'm actually a little frightened. Someone asked me a while back about all the pictures I've posted here (which is a shitload), so I uploaded all of them to a flickr account, and with Rinna's help made it public for everyone. I also kept the chatbox and offensive color scheme to make you all feel at home. I hope to see all of you there...
Later in the week I'm going to put up a redirect, but not until my brain stops bleeding from looking at HTML. But for now, come visit me at the new home of Monkeys for Helping.
"It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about the important things. The monkey wears an expression of seriousness which would do credit to any college student, but the monkey is serious because he itches."
-Robert M. Hutchin
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 06.17.05 (1:30 pm) [edit] |
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I've decided when I get married this is how the wedding party will be dressed. Tuxedos just don't have the pizazz of orange jumpsuits with shoulder flaps. The reception will be in a room with random blinking lights on the walls and the minister will be a poorly built Japanese robot with a british accent and a razor sharp wit. Sounds crazy? Trust me. The looks on people's faces will be worth it.
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| Update |
| 06.17.05 (1:26 pm) [edit] |
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By the end of the weekend, I should be over at blogger for good. I just have to figure out how to change colors and fix a few glitches, and get a redirect over there. The site is gonna be good, I swear.
And I just figured out what I want for my birthday: Hypnosis. I'm reading this book by Dr. Brian Weiss that documents past life regression, and I'm riveted. I really want to know what sits inside my fat head other than dead brain cells and gravy. Repressed Alien abductions? Memories of past lives? I just hope delving into my subconscious doesn't open up a huge can of crazy worms. We'll see..I don't wanna wake up like Arnold in Total Recall.
Question: Have any of you ever tried hypnosis?
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| The Road to Serfdom |
| 06.17.05 (1:13 pm) [edit] |
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Being a serf sucks. And I should know. I'm a huge serf. I'd really like to be able to sit here and profess to you all that I live an original life that isn't dictated by media, society, and government ideals, but that would make me a big fat liar. I'd like to think that I'm an individual with original principles and ideas, but the truth is I'm such a corporate whore it's crazy. I really don't mean to be, but I can't help it. I like stuff. Having things does not suck to me in the slightest. I really can't have enough Nike Airs made by 12 year old girls from Bangladesh wrapped around my feet. (It's not my fault they do such a good job.) I devour 24 hour news feeds like fat kids eating sleeves of oreos. I just love that sensation of being bombarded by pure bias from every telescreen I see. It's such a relief to not have to form my own opinions when watching flickering images. Yes I admit I'm concerned about Johnny Government taking away citizen's rights, but then I remember I'm not even a citizen. So I don't even have rights to lose! Hurray!
So if you are afraid you have become a serf like me, this comic lays it all out. Imagine Orwell's 1984 with a bit of guised modern political commentary rolled into an awesome comic. Look at that nazi going to town on those golf clubs!! No fun for you! More excercise!
Check it out here.
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| Triumph vs. Jacko fans |
| 06.16.05 (5:59 pm) [edit] |
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Triumph is too real. I know the MJ thing is played out, but this had me rolling. Watch this video of him going after MJ fans. With lines like "Criticising these reporters is like booing at the special olympics", how can you go wrong? Check it out here..
And when he mentions MJ masturbating to the movie "Home Alone" it reminded me of this fantastic picture...
I'll bet my dusty copy of Thriller that Macaulay has nightmares of glittery gloved hands coming after him...
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 06.15.05 (8:49 am) [edit] |
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Great Ceaser's Ghost. What the fuck is wrong with Jacko fans. I just had to post this. Mainly because crying is always funny. But notice how he has no white glove, yet managed to create a magical glove illusion by using glitter on his bare hand. That's dedication. Also the shirt-less arm band look is really hot right now. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and kill myself.
(via Attu)
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| Indian McDonalds |
| 06.15.05 (8:38 am) [edit] |
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Professor Nanda sent me this snap from his recent trip to India. I don't know about you western infidels, but I would totally eat the hell out of that McCurry, even if it might give me Mc Ass-piss. Also, how fucking crazy does the Chicken Maharaja Mac look? I need an Indian connect to send me one of those. That's east meets west all in one action packed super sandwich. Thanks for this, Gabe. Now I'm hungry!
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| Movin and Shakin |
| 06.14.05 (10:49 am) [edit] |
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I'm back..I had a great weekend, and the wedding was a blast..Even though it was Saigon humid outside, I managed to rock the monkey suit to it's fullest potential. I'm super busy right now and loaded with school work, but rest assured I will return shortly with tons of stupid for all of you.
Also, I'm working on my new site that Rinna set up for me at Blogspot, and in a few days I will have a redirect for it so you can still come here and be sent over there..(You can peep the new banner, super stupidity at it's finest). I just gotta put up my links and do some tweaking, and then will be making the switch permanently..so sit tight! I'll be back in a bit..
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| Not so sweet 16 |
| 06.07.05 (10:09 am) [edit] |
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Oh my dear God. I finally found it. The shadiest album cover of all time.
(via Pork Tornado)
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| gotta jet son, like Elroy |
| 06.07.05 (7:58 am) [edit] |
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I'll be off the grid probably till Sunday..I might be back in case the need to nerd overtakes me..I gotta fly to NY and go to a wedding. I'm in the wedding party which means yours truly gets to wear a bonifide monkey suit, and do important groom stuff. (I'm just relieved I don't actually have to groom people.) And Devo is the best man!! It's gonna be fun. The groom tells me that his family likes the sauce which means lots of old people dancing their asses off. Old drunk people run shit. I've been without drink and party for a while, and all this sobriety and healthy living has me chomping at the bit. It's time to let loose. I will return with a full report for those of you that give a shit..Peace out!
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| Picture of the day |
| 06.07.05 (7:45 am) [edit] |
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How cool is this!?! The best part: It ONLY plays tapes. That's old school. I say fuck a CD. This shit is analog, baby!!
(Found here)
Update: here is another amazing thing I want...
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| Chicken Pants |
| 06.04.05 (4:47 pm) [edit] |
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Sweet delicious chicken. Your sassy, secret recipe of style carries the sophistication of a seasoned Fashionista. Your daring pose exudes an air of grace and confidence beyond your species. Look around, chicken. The lights, the cameras, the people...they are all here for you. This is your day. Go. The catwalk is yours.
(via Ananova)
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| Picture of the day |
| 06.03.05 (1:10 pm) [edit] |
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Cubicle Yeti says: "TGIF everybody!"
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| Patently Absurd |
| 06.03.05 (12:11 pm) [edit] |
People think it's hard to get something patented. Apparently not. The US Goverment patent office is obviously phoning it in with some of these inventions they approve. I found this site with tons of inventions that got patented, and some of them are brilliant, but most are shit house crazy.
Take this one for example. It's called Cry No More. I'm no Doctor Phil, but the look on that kid's face is pure primalistic fear. Dear God. Any kid who has his mouth strapped shut for crying is going to grow up talking like Jodie Foster in "Nell" and develop a huge gag fetish.
From the "Fuck your kids for life" collection we have this little wonder. It's called The baby patter. Quite possibly the sketchiest name for a product ever. I don't know how good it is for a developing infant to have its earliest memories filled with a giant fucking robot arm beating his ass while he sleeps. Call me crazy.
Here we have The Gerbil Shirt. If I saw someone wearing this I'd immediately call the police. That poor child must have been chloroformed and thrown in a dirty well to wear that abomination. No good can come from this. None.
And here we have a Wearable Dog House. Now this is just plain crazy. Even the cartoon lady wearing it knows it's retarded. But it could be cool if the dog was trained to attack anyone who opened the door. I'd use it on waiters so I could bite the hand that feeds me.
And here we have doggy Ear Tubes. Wow. I really didn't think it was possible to make the poodle look any more gay than it already does. I stand corrected.
Straight from the US Department of Homeland Security wish list, we have The Hijacker Injector. Now here is a good idea. I think they should put these in coach and load them with morphine so I can kill my feelings with the push of a button. Flying fucking sucks.
Lastly, we have the Toilet Snorkel. "Formulated to provide a fresh air source during fires in high rise buildings." Cool idea, I guess. But there has got to be a better place to get fresh air during a fire then the hole people poop into. Dear lord. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills..
If you liked these, check out the rest. Let me know if you find any good ones. I have new found faith in people's ability to be stupid. What a nice gift for the weekend.
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| Picture of the day |
| 06.01.05 (12:47 pm) [edit] |
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This is a still from what might be the best film ever made. I won't rest until I see it.
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| Asshole Battle #2!!! |
| 06.01.05 (10:15 am) [edit] |
Well people, It's that time again. Time for another Asshole battle. I really had so much fun reading the awesome comments and debates during the last battle that I thought I'd do it again.
This time around we have a 3-way battle to make it more interesting. I've picked 3 of the biggest douchebags I could remember from watching movies over the years, and I think we have a good matchup. The only rules for this are that all of their movie/TV roles can apply, and I'm linking their IMDB profiles to their names for reference. Ok, people! Here we go..
In your opinion, who is the biggest Asshole?
#1: Paul Gleason
(Best known for his work as notorious dickhead Clarence Beeks in "Trading Places" and the principal in "The Breakfast Club")
#2: Ronny Cox
(Known for his pivotal roles as bigtime asshole Dick Jones in "Robocop" and Mars douchebag Vilos Cohaagen in "Total Recall")
#3: Christopher McDonald
(Immortalized as the infamous Shooter McGavin in "Happy Gilmore" and the creepy TV host Tappy Tibbons in "Requiem For A Dream")
So there you have it, folks. Let the games begin!!!
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