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Daily Tip:
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.31.05 (10:36 am) [edit] |
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This is an disco album by Arthur Fiedler, who was the conducter of the Boston Pops Orchestra. How badass is this cover? John Travolta has nothing on this guy.
Old people are jive. A cool old person is so much cooler than a cool young person because of the decades of training and practice. This kind of cool you can only get by saving up 70 years worth of pimp tokens. I love his expression. There must be something liberating when you reach that age where you just dont give a fuck.
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| The World of Fainting Goats |
| 05.31.05 (10:10 am) [edit] |
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It's been said that you learn something everyday. I know there are good months on end where I don't learn anything, I maybe even unlearn things. Regardless, I am always a little happier when I learn something by the end of the day. It could be a new swear word, or a stupid fact (which it usually is) or a profound truth of the universe. Today I have one for you.
Have you ever heard of Fainting Goats?
Fainting Goats are known by a number of descriptive terms such as Nervous, Stiff-leg, Wooden-leg, and Tennessee Scare goats. Unlike Rusty the Narcoleptic Dog, they don't suffer from any type of hillarious sleep disorder, as they don't actually faint or fall asleep. Rather they fall stiff legged, giving the appearance of fainting. Here's some info on them:
"Shepherds often kept the goats in with their flocks as insurance in case of predator attacks. The theory went something like this- as wolves would come down from the hills to attack a flock of sheep, the goats would become startled and, as per the name of their breed, they would faint. The sheep would make a clean getaway, as the wolves would focus on the stunned goats rather than pursue the fleeing sheep. Not that wonderful if you were one of the goats, sure, but downright dandy if you happened to be a sheep."
Now all this information is well and good, but don't you want to see some fainting goats fainting? I know I do. Here is a fantastic "News" segment from a current affair filled with Fainting goats galore. The interview at the end with the goat lady is especially terrific. One of her goats is named J-lo. 'Nuff said.
For more information on the world of Fainting Goats, check out the International Fainting Goats Association website (Not to be confused with The International Fancy Guppy Association site).
I think the IFGA upturned goat logo is probably the most boss thing I've ever seen. I want a Napoleon Dynamite style glossy pic T-shirt of it. I'd wear it way to much. Fantastic.
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.29.05 (1:03 pm) [edit] |
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Honestly, what the hell is going through Phil Spector's head these days? He must have forgotten the basic rules of trying to look innocent when facing a jury.
1. Never dress like a business casual Civil War Union soldier.
2. Play down the "I'm fucking crazy" look.
Maybe he's trying to hypnotizing them into ignoring the evidence. It's starting to work on me..
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| Japanese Power Bomb! |
| 05.28.05 (1:39 pm) [edit] |
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Ok. Word of advice to any would be purse snatchers in Japan: Don't even think about it or your bitch ass will get POWER BOMBED! I can't believe how cool this is. I want to marry this lady. What a badass. This video is insane. Insane I tell you! Check it out here!
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.28.05 (7:38 am) [edit] |
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Exactly how many cocaine sandwiches does a person have to eat in order to look like this?
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| It came from 1977 |
| 05.28.05 (7:24 am) [edit] |
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I have a strange fascination with the 1970's. My parents were total retro freaks, so my early memories are full of strange bright colors. My memories of that time are filled with images where everything was a bit too bright and oddly hued, like someone turned the tint all the way up on the TV. Also during the 70's everyone made their houses out of cocaine, listened to ABBA, and ate fondue for breakfast lunch, and dinner.
It's weird how some fashions have come full circle. Like haircuts for instance. Occasionally you see women rocking the feathered haircut, but with tragically hip men everywhere it's like looking back in time. Take a look at this scary picture of Bobby Sherman for example.
I swear to you I see that guy 56 times a day in Greenwich village. He's everywhere. Except he doesn't smile. He listens to Radiohead bootlegs on his arm-strapped Ipod and scowls for a living.
And have a look at this fantastic picture of Disco superstar Cerrone.
I really think this guy sold me a CD at the Virgin Megastore once. I remember him looking at my choice of CD and making that "You're not underground enough" face. How could I forget his ironic Flock of Seagulls T shirt and faux punk attitude. New York is really great. Except when it sucks.
So here are some awesome 70's galleries of super kitsch furniture I found amazing. If Ikea threw up after a night of partying this is what would come out. (Check em out here and here.)
You gotta love the barrrage of sense offending colors. I know when I walk into a room, I want my eyes to feel like they are being set on fire. What would it be like if your whole house looked like this? I'd love it. Just going to the kitchen for breakfast would be like tripping on Acid...
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.27.05 (1:17 pm) [edit] |
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No disrespect to the dead, but I had to share. This name is so crazy. So so crazy.
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| Buttload of random information |
| 05.27.05 (1:11 pm) [edit] |
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Those who know me are aware my attention span is fairly short. I like lists I can read fast before I lose interest in what I'm reading. I found this site with hundreds of random facts that I thought I'd share. I love quick factoids like these. They make my synapses fire off like pop rocks. Here are a few I found interesting..
Astronauts cannot burp in space. There is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.
Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter" in 2000.
Japanese and Chinese people die on the fourth of the month more often than any other dates. The reason may be that they are "scared to death" by the number four. The words four and death sound alike in both Chinese and Japanese.
The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.
The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
The biggest dog on record was an Old English Mastiff that weighed 343 pounds. He was 8 feet, 3 inches from nose to tail.
An average American will spend an average of 6 months during his lifetime waiting at red lights.
One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people.
Most of the deck chairs on the Queen Mary 2 have had to be replaced because overweight Americans were breaking them.
Oprah Winfrey and Elvis Presley are distant cousins.
Quebec City, Canada, has about as much street crime as Disney World.
f you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it registers movements almost identical to a human adult's brain waves.
We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday.
(There are hundreds more here...Check em all out! My brain is hurting trying to read them all. So many!)
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.26.05 (11:35 am) [edit] |
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Now this must be an interesting conversation! Dig the matching wardrobe. I love the baboon. He's totally eavesdropping.
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| Hoff watch |
| 05.26.05 (11:27 am) [edit] |
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Who saw American Idol last night? I didn't see who won. I really could care less that blonde female pop singer won instead of male country/rock singer. But I did witness an unexpected Hoff sighting.
During a montage of Idol's losers, some Idol reject was shown bombing an audition, and proclaimed his love of the Hoff. Next thing you know, Seacrest brings the poor bastard out on stage. And then the Hoff comes out of nowhere!
What followed is a little blurry, because whenever I see the Hoff my head gets jumbled like I'm holding an electric fence. All I remember is him shaking hands with him, and a really awkward exchange taking place. And amidst the confusion, all I felt was sadness.
Most know the Hoff is unbridled evil. According to my extensive research, the Hoff spends the majority of his days locked in a East German castle drinking baby blood to keep his dark powers at their fullest strength. But he wasn't always like that. Before he made the cross over to the dark side, he was Michael Knight on the the show Knightrider. And next to Airwolf and The A-team, it was one of the best shows ever.
As a child raised by television during the 80's, I looked up to him. He had a leather jacket, a truck with an office in it, and a perm the likes of which has yet to be seen. And who didnt love K.I.T.T.? Now that was a car robot with moxy. He was like Higgins from Magnum P.I. and C-3PO with a dash of gay all rolled into a sweet corvette with a red laser eye.
During those days, Hoff was king. Now he spends his days living off checks from Baywatch reruns, brainwashing German music fans, and making cameos in Spongebob movies.
I want Hoff to renounce his evil and come back to the light before it's too late. And I want Michael Jackson the singer to come back too. I want the moonwalker, not the babypetter. The guy used to rule the world. To this day whenever I hear Thriller it's so good I want to kick myself in the face. I'm going to go and dig that record out of the closet. Talk about a classic. Now Hoff's music on the otherhand...
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.25.05 (6:53 pm) [edit] |
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When I inevitably make my fortune and buy my giant island lair, I want a squad of these bad boys as my security force. (Hawaiian shirts optional.)
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| Falling Down |
| 05.24.05 (4:10 pm) [edit] |
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It's a fact: People love reading about other people's pain, myself included. So I thought I'd share my morning. Today has been one of those days.
I have 4 dogs. And they are awesome, but today they were responsible for me kicking my own ass. They sleep in bed with me, and because they are fat fucks I always wake up tucked into a corner of the bed with them taking up 80% of the real estate. So I woke up this morning and swung my leg over one of them in order to not kick him in his fat head, and in doing so kicked the side of my dresser WICKED hard, essentially stubbing all 5 of my toes at once.
Stubbed toes are a son of a bitch. They are right behind paper cuts on my list of shit I fucking hate alot. But stubbing all five at once is super awesomely shitty. Holy God. I kicked it so damn hard it felt like I almost broke my toes. Have you ever had that kind of pain where you give the silent scream? Where you look like an edgy mime doing some some kind of twisted performance art? It was like that. Except it's funny when it happens to people on TV. Not to me at 7 AM.
So then I stumbled out of bed, and there I am hopping on one leg, growling like a drunk hobo all the while trying to wake up at the same time. All four of my dogs are looking at me like I'm retarded, and then I tripped over god knows what sending me crashing to the floor with the swiftness. And I swear I heard one of them laughing at me.
Life is funny like that. It seems like every once in a while God throws a bananna peel in front of you just to make himself laugh. Why? because pain is funny.
Well go ahead and laugh it up, God. You sick bastard.
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| Prophet Yahweh: UFO summoner |
| 05.23.05 (1:21 pm) [edit] |
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Get those tin foil hats out of the closet, people. I got a big hot plate of crazy talk for you to feast on.
The picture above is of man who calls himself "Prophet Yahweh". Besides having outrageously fresh clothes, he claims to be able to summon UFO's on command. And starting next month, he's going to show the world he means business. Now I read alot about UFO's and other paranormal phenomenon, and do in fact believe that UFO's (at least some of them) are unexplained. But I find it hard to believe what this guy is claiming. Read:
"For only 45 days, starting June 1st until July 15, 2005, Prophet Yahweh, Seer of Yahweh, will be calling down UFOs and spaceships for the news media to film and photograph. During this time, a spaceship will descend, on Prophet's signal, and sit in the skies over Las Vegas, Nevada for almost two days."
(read the fantastically crazy article here).
Ah, Vegas. Of course. The home of Wayne Newton, Liberace, and crazy-ass tigers that bite gay people in the head. What a perfect location for the event of the millenium! Man, it will be so awesome if this actually happens. I can see it now.
"Good evening, America. We are coming to you live from the outskirts of Las Vegas, Nevada with important breaking news. Our sources tell us that a large bearded man wearing a cape and turban claiming to be the prophet Yahweh has summoned several flying saucers that are currently hovering over the city. This is without a doubt a very powerful moment in the history of humanity. One this reporter has no words to express the magnitude of."
So next month, Prophet Yahweh is either going to be really really famous, or labelled a totally crazy bastard. I think I'll go out on a limb here. Prophet Yahweh, you are a crazy bastard. We'll see next month if I'm right..
UPDATE: News report available of P Yahweh summoning UFO. And I take it back. Prophet Yahweh may not be totally crazy after all! Watch this video and try to explain it! http://www.coasttocoastam.com...
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.23.05 (10:23 am) [edit] |
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This is one of the best monkey action shots I've ever found. That guy is catching serious air. But when I look at this I prefer to think of it as a really creepy balloon. (just look at the leash and use your imagination.)
I want to throw a party where there is a whole room of highly realistic flying monkey balloons. Some would find it funny, others would fake amusement and secretly be uncomfortable, and alot of people would be very, very disturbed. That would give me alot of joy.
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| Ooh. So interesting. |
| 05.23.05 (9:39 am) [edit] |
Sarcasm is one of the highest forms of humor in my opinion. When I think sarcasm, I think of Steven Wright and Sarcastro from the Tick.
Sarcastro was one of the best superheros ever conceived. He would fight crime with the razor sharp sting of sarcasm all the while looking like Fidel Castro. (Which I think is the best use of a double meaning name since The Hamburglar).
I also think of Steven Wright, the genius with some of the greatest one-liners since Henny Youngman. Gems like:
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
(check out a page of his quotes here).
Now scientists have apparently found the part of the brain where sarcasm exists. wow.
"By comparing healthy people and those with damage to different parts of the brain, they found the front of the brain was a key to understanding irony.
Damage to any of three different areas could render individuals unable to understand sarcastic comments." (read the whole article here).
I find the whole thing fascinating. Sarcasm being such a subtle art, it's amazing to me that there is a party of the brain responsible for it. For those of you like me who don't like to read stuff, Here's a spiffy diagram on how it works:
As you can see, once the guy on the right speaks, the words go into the brain where it then processes his statement and labels him a total douche. Pretty cool, huh? Science is awesome. Wait, was that sarcastic? I don't even know anymore, man!
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| Sith for brains |
| 05.18.05 (12:58 pm) [edit] |
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Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
That's deep. You probably thought it was Maya Angelou. You wish. It's the code of the Sith. the Sith that are about to put a foot in the ass of all the good for nothing Jedi. Even Yoda is going to get his little green ass handed to him, care of the Emerpor. I can't wait. This is why Empire Strikes Back was so good. The bad guys get to win.
Mark my words: George Lucas is about to make the whole world his bitch. And his neck is only going to get fatter with all that scrilla coming in. Bookoo bucks. I can't go to the midnight show (class in the morning) but believe you me I'll be there straight after. I bought the video game, and saw alot of new footage which convinced me the movie is going to kick ass.
So for those of you who gave up on Star Wars and have come around since finding out the movie DOESN'T suck, here's something to prepare your mind for the movie. It's an extensive history of the Sith. This way, you won't go "whats the hell is he talking about?" in the fucking theatre and I won't have to whip a box of milk duds at your stupid fat head.
So when you see the movie, (do or do not, there is no try) let me know what you think. I think I'm going to puke when I watch it. In a good way.
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.17.05 (3:23 pm) [edit] |
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Frankly I'm speecheless. All I can think of is what he's holding behind his back. Whatever it is, I bet its sketchy. And it's definetely in a crumpled brown bag.
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| The Porn Mustache All Stars and Bad Haircuts |
| 05.17.05 (2:20 pm) [edit] |
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This is Rollie Fingers. Now I am not a big sports guy. But If I knew people like this radical badass were prevalent in the world of baseball, I'd quickly cross over. First of all, brilliant name. the doctors should have given his parents a trophy for naming their kid that. Outstanding. And God and baby Jesus on the cross, look at that mustache! How could anyone even play against this guy? If I was up and this guy came to the mound it would be a wrap. No hitting for me. Strike 1, 2, 3 real quick. I'd just stare at him, hypnotized into total stupification by the sight of a glassy eyed neo-pirate whipping baseballs at me.
So this is the MLB Porn mustache all star team I found on a pretty funny site I came across today. Good stuff for those sports fans out there among you.
Also, Check out their top 50 worst hair cuts of all time.The writing had me laughing out loud. One of my favorites:
The Comic Relief
"I think Billy's hairline is just trying to get as far from his terrible jokes as possible."
Funny simply because Billy Crystal isn't anymore. There are some other gems in there. Ah, internet. Were would I be without horrible hair cuts and strange facial hair to make fun of?
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.16.05 (11:58 am) [edit] |
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Sometimes the internet rewards you for your searches. This is one of the best book covers I've ever seen. I want the book. I bet every picture is fucking jive city. First of all, his name is Chong Lee. That's Bolo Yueng's name is Bloodsport. So he already wins there. Second of all, just fucking LOOK at him! If I jumped in the air, I sure as hell wouldn't look that cool. I want to meet this guy and shake his hand. Then I want a photo of him jump kicking me right in the fucking eye.
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| Ape on Campus |
| 05.16.05 (11:48 am) [edit] |
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Today I made the leap back into the world of Academia. I've got a grind until December packed with classes, and until then, I'm offically a student again. My first day of class as an old bastard went well. Now most 9:00 AM classes usually are hard for me to concentrate on, but this one was an eye opener. The class I'm taking is Psychology of Human Sexuality, and believe me, Seeing giant dicks on Powerpoint does a pretty good job of keeeping you awake. I learned alot of interesting stuff, and actually had a good time. And rarely in a classroom is that possible for me.
I learned that monkeys are furious masturbators. I know, who doesn't know that. But it's refreshing to hear a Doctor of Psychology talk about Chimps jacking off. And I learned that male Monkeys have gay sex with younger monkeys to declare dominace. Who knew? I give this class an A+. I'm also calling it "Gay Monkey Sex Ed 101" from now on.
Anyway, learned alot of other stuff. I also forgot how shitty it is to be left handed in a right handed man's world. You walk into a class, and it's all little right handed desks. What the hell, man? We left handers need proper desks too, you evil right handed Dean of oppression. Do I have to call the Dean of Desks to get this shit fixed? It drives me crazy. I was talking to Rinna the other day about this. She's a fellow left hander, and I was venting about how those damn right handed people are always trying to keep us down. I plan a future post about this. I need to gather all my data for my essay of the terrible prejudices that us lefties have faced for too long. Enough of this, more later. In the meantime, here's a picture of a monkey fixing a television.
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.13.05 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
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If any among you can explain the meaning of this picture, I will love it and be forever grateful and humbled by your infinite wisdom. My simple primate brain throbs trying to contemplate its meaning. It's like a visual Zen koan. I feel if I stare long enough, my mind will dissapear.
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| Rap Translations |
| 05.13.05 (8:32 pm) [edit] |
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I'm a fan of Hip hop. Real hip hop. The good stuff, not the garbage they force feed you on the radio 99% of the time. I like real music with real MC's, not overproduced pop stars who minor in rapping.(But thats a whole other post). Growing up, my parents always wished they could figure out what the hell alot of the lyrics were talking about. Well Mom and Dad, I have the site for you. Raptranslations.com.
Here's an awesome snippet that had me lauging my ass off. Check out "California Love" by Tupac and Dr. Dre.
Dr. Dre:
"Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west,
A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness.
The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest,
Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex."
Translation:
I would like to take this opportunity to inveigle the masses ardently into the wild, wild west locale. An enclave analogous to pariah untouchable, Elliot Ness. The concordant canticle encompasses one’s auditory range such as a pernicious projectile to the mammary glands. It is essential to prepare an ammunition projectile deflector shield for one’s clandestine body organs in this, the bailiwick of libidinous encounters.
Dr. Dre:
"We in that sunshine state with a bomb ass hemp beat,
The state where you'll never find a dance floor empty.
And pimps be, on a mission for them greens,
Lean mean money-makin'-machine servin' fiends."
Translation:
Considering as we are enclosed in the sunshine province comprising of the acclamatory hemp beat. This is indeed the commonwealth in which the structures used for fast-paced limb intimate movement are never desolate. Ridiculously clothed gentlemen in a surfeit abundance of color (namely purple) uphold to their sortie in search of monetary deliverance. Engaging in several acts of resplendent intimacy relations, these gents are lucrative apparatuses.
Dr. Dre:
"I been in the game for ten years makin' rap tunes,
Ever since honeys was wearin' sassoon.
Now it's '95 and they clock me and watch me,
Diamonds shinin' lookin' like I robbed Liberace."
Translation:
I have existed in this ambiguous “game” for well over a decade, fabricating various contemporary congenial melodies, antecedently since voluptuous women have adorned sassoon. At the present condition and allotment of the year nineteen hundred and ninety-five, the elusive “they” have been scrupulously scrutinizing my every alacrity. Consummation has brought magnanimous wealth in the form of diamonds, denoting the appearance as one who has just stripped the ostensible Liberace.
Dr. Dre:
"It's all good, from Diego to the Bay,
Your city is the bomb if your city makin' pay.
Throw up a finger if ya feel the same way,
Dre puttin' it down for Californ-i-a."
Translation:
The situation is benignant, from the megalopolis of San Diego as far reaching as San Francisco Bay. In regards to the approbatory level of a borough, and increase is only in concomitance with monetarily prospering. Bequeath the predisposed limb if your feelings and intents correlate. Doctor Dre engaging in harmonious ballads for the independent area of California.
Oh man, some of these had me dying! Make sure to hit the site and check out all the rest. Can't wait for this guy to do some more..
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| "Bubbles had a smile on his face." |
| 05.12.05 (7:24 pm) [edit] |
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Jackson 'Pleasured' Chimp Bubbles
"Troubled singer Michael Jackson was once caught pleasuring his pet monkey Bubbles - according to his former brother-in-law.
James DeBarge, who once married to the BAD singer's younger sister Janet, made the allegations in an interview in 1993 which has just been published, of witnessing bestiality occur between Jackson and the animal.
DeBarge claims, "He was changing Bubbles' diapers and just got carried away.
"Bubbles had a smile on his face."
He added that Jackson would have the chimp brought to his home "to spend the night when he wanted company".
The allegations form no part of Jackson's trial where he is facing 10 felony charges of child molestation, administering an intoxicating agent and conspiracy involving allegations of child abduction, false imprisonment and extortion."
Dear God! Say it ain't so Mike. PLEASE tell me it's all a horrible lie. Hey Jacko, you need a little less wacko and a little more hetero if you're going to convince me you're not the sick, baby petting monkey fucker people are saying you are. I really, really hope Debarge is lying. Monkeyphilia is no laughing matter. I swear I would fucking faint if Bubbles takes the stand. No doubt he would be a star witness. And the E! network's re-creation of the trial would be fantastic. Put him on the stand! He's probably seen it all!
(And to prove I didn't make this up, here's the link).
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.12.05 (6:56 pm) [edit] |
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That ain't a mustache....
THIS is a mustache!
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| Transportation Futuristics |
| 05.12.05 (6:50 pm) [edit] |
Recently I purchased a new car for getting to and from school, and as a result have had transportation on the brain. I had been watching cars while driving around trying to decide what I wanted, but when I was on the road all I would see were big ass SUV's that all looked the same, and a bunch of sedans and coupes that all looked pretty much identical. There really isn't enough variety out there. It's 2005. Aren't we supposed to have shit like THIS flying around?
But we don't. No saucer buses at all. All we get is "the new and improved so and so" that seems just like last years model. The only thing I ever see thats catches my interest is when the major companies release concept cars for viewing. Those are fucking banannas. I think they should offer services where they release limited runs of them. They would sell alot. (Check out this cool site for more on concept cars.)
I would want this one.
It's called the Moonster, and it won a design contest sponsored by Peugeot. Imagine going for groceries in that mother. (Check out the Moonster site here.)
Check out this site called Transportation Futuristics, which has old and new revolutionary concepts for getting around via land, air, and sea. It has awesome galleries which give you a sense of how homogeneous transport design is these days. Back in the day people had their heads in the clouds. In this cookie cutter world we live in, I think we need more of those visionaries.
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| Signs of the Apocalyspe #5,657 |
| 05.11.05 (2:42 pm) [edit] |
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New Robots Clone Themselves
By Michael Schirber
Mimicking reproduction in living organisms, researchers have built a simple self-replicating robot out of automated blocks.
Machines that can copy themselves have been built before, but the earlier experiments were limited to two dimensions or confined to a track. Hod Lipson and his collaborators at Cornell University have designed modular cubes, called molecubes, that can assume a range of three-dimensional shapes.
"People think of robots as durable metallic machines, and the only way to make them last longer is to make them more sturdy," Lipson said.
Lipson and his colleagues are exploring a different paradigm, in which robots become more robust through self-repair.
"Animals survive longer than robots because they can repair themselves," Lipson explained in a telephone interview.
The new robots are simpler and less autonomous than biological organisms. But the scientists argue that self-replication is not a yes-or-no proposition, but rather a spectrum based on complexity and independence.
"Some viruses can reproduce, but only in very specific environments," Lipson said. "Other organisms, like mammals, are less restricted."
The robots are composed of four-inch-wide cubes that attach and release each other with electromagnets. The cubes are cut in half along a diagonal plane, allowing the robot to swivel 90 degrees.
Each module carries a microprocessor with the step-by-step instructions for replication. Sensors tell the robot when a new cube has been attached at one end, and power is supplied through floor plates.
To help the robot make a copy of itself, the scientists placed new cubes at "feeding" stations. One of the challenges was designing modules that would not topple during motion. The initial robot relies on help from its unfinished "clone" in the construction process.
In experiments, a four-cube-high robot copied itself in two and a half minutes. More complex shapes are possible in principle, but Lipson said that there are practical difficulties in making robots with more cubes.
Currently, the robots have no practical use, but the research team said that it would be fairly easy to add other modules with grippers or a camera.
Self-replicating robots could be valuable for space exploration and in hazardous environments, where they could take care of themselves without human help. One robot could even build out of its own components a new type of robot for a specific task, Lipson said.
The robots and their capabilities are reported in the May 12 issue of the journal Nature. A video of one cloning itself can be seen here.
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| Help send chimps to college |
| 05.11.05 (1:27 pm) [edit] |
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Alot of bloggers take the high road and refuse to put ads on their blogs. They think it compromises their integrity. I am NOT one of those people. I signed up for Google adsense, and amazingly they accepted me. Why I do not know. I fucking swear alot on this blog, and apparently thats a big no no for qualifying. Well fuck that. Vulgarity is here to stay, you evil Google wizards. For the sake of any self respect I have left, I am going to keep it gully. I refuse to let the man take me down! (Unless the price is right.)
I joke. But my monkeys gotta eat, baby. Anyway, I'll probably make fractions of pennies for these ads, but that wont stop me from clicking them like crazy. So feel free to click away folks. or not, I dont care. Fuck it. We'll see what happens, I consider the whole thing a silly experiment. But if the internet does end up making me money, I ain't going to send it back!
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.11.05 (12:37 pm) [edit] |
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Crazy ass Shibuya kids! Seriously, Japanese teens are taking fashion to crazy levels. These kids make most Anime characters look boring. Jesus! He has a giant green claw!
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| What's Going On? |
| 05.10.05 (6:29 pm) [edit] |
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With all the crap you have to sift through for entertainment these days, sometimes the interweb yields wonderful things I truly enjoy. Take this video for example.
Does anyone remember the song "What's up?" by the group 4 Non Blondes? the hook said "hey, whats going on?" Anyway, if you remember it you can't forget it. The hook is like a music virus that plants itself in your memory and never leaves your head. Ok, now think of that song, and think He-Man (Not the awesomely awful Dolph Lundgren flick, http://geocities.yahoo.com.br... the cartoon.) Now those two things don't seem like they should EVER be combined. But this video morphs them into a bizzare, slightly homo-erotic cartoon video with someone singing a TERRIBLE but hillarious rendition of that song over it. (after hearing it a few times, it's starting to grow on me.)
I laughed really really hard watching this. It's just creepy enough to kick me right in the funny bone. I especially like the Skeletor cameo and the weird bridge with bird lady and Man-at-Arms singing backup. Anyway, check it out, and make sure you wait for the shitty techno to kick in! Brilliant. http://www.slackcircus.com/~fabadam/fsp_101.mov
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| I'll have the fish |
| 05.10.05 (2:11 pm) [edit] |
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"April 5th marks the day that the first ever all-glass undersea restaurant in the world opens its doors for business at the Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa. Ithaa will sit five meters below the waves of the Indian Ocean, surrounded by a vibrant coral reef and encased in clear acrylic offering diners 270-degrees of panoramic underwater views" Check out the link: http://www.hospitalitynet.org...+and+restaurant+and+hilto n
Wow I want to eat here. I love the ocean. In another life I would have loved to have been one of those guys that feeds the fish to the dolphins and makes them do flips at Sea World. Except just dolphins, I'm a little shook of killer whales. C'mon. they're KILLER WHALES.
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| Picture of the day |
| 05.10.05 (1:29 pm) [edit] |
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This is Transylvanian Stefan Sigmond breaking the world record for cigarette smoking (800 cigarettes in 6 minutes).
That's 40 packs of cigarettes at once! In New York prices, thats more than 300 dollars. Also, I bet those are Transylvanian cigarettes which are probably wicked gross. This guy is a champ. Quitting is hard, Stefan. Keep on puffing.
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| ROTS |
| 05.09.05 (7:16 pm) [edit] |
As you might or might not know, Star Wars III: Revenge Of The Sith opens in just 9 days. http://www.astro.cornell.edu/...~bkent/epiii And I can't tell you how psyched I am. I know, the last 2 sucked, we all know it. But I have been waiting to see this one since I was a popcorn chomping wide eyed kid sitting in the movie theater with my Dad watching Return of the Jedi. I watched that movie at least 6 times in the theater. Vader was my favorite. Best bad guy ever.
So my anticipation of this one is high. And I've read EVERY spoiler there is regarding the movie. I know exactly what's going to happen, and it makes me even more psyched to see it. Now I'm a Star Wars nerd. But as big a fanboy as I am, I still spend my days dressed as a civilian. I wanted to post a few pics of some REAL Star Wars fans.
Setting it off, here we have a creepy Jabba The Hutt with his little freakshow side kick salacious crumb. It makes me feel gross inside when I see it, and I figured I'd share my pain with you. If that thing came to my door on Halloween, I'd give it an apple with a razorblade in it.
Now this guy is just phoning it in. He got the mask down, but call me crazy, but I don't think he's ready to do any bounty hunting. He looks like Boba Fett's retarded brother who lives in the toolshed in the back yard. And I'm pretty sure he got that gun in the gift shop for the "Pirates of the Carribean" ride at Disney world.
Speaking of Pirates of the Carribean, here's a candid shot of Capt.Jack Sparrow and Elvis. As Stormtroopers! Wow. This is intense. If I worked in goverment I'd open a file on these two. Fellas, what you're doing here is what in the movie Ghostbusters they call "crossing the streams". By combining two different movie costumes, you are playing with dangerous powers beyond your control. Step away from each other before something explodes.
Christ on the cross. This guy is a full on gender bending wielder of unbridled nerd force. However, dressing as a lady doesn't make them talk to you, sir. People like this makes me root for the bad guys in the movie. No wonder the Jedis lose in the end.
Little kids shouldn't be allowed at these conventions. That guy's Grievous unit is going to haunt that little nerdling's dreams. But this dude gets the super gold star for building a costume of a character in a movie that has yet to be released. Geeks take note. This guy is your daddy.
Another fanboy phoning it in. I think he copped out on going full stormtrooper and decided on being a death star janitor instead. But didn't they have robots for that? hmmm. Anyway, dude has a fucking bucket on his head, which makes me like him. That takes spaceballs.
This just proves that if Darth Vader wore this suit in the movie noone could take him seriously. He looks like Liberace as a beekeeper. And the real Vader would never coddle an Ewok. They eat them on sticks at Empire barbecues.
Go back to burning man, hippie. There is no room for free minds in the Empire.
Here's another reason that children shouldn't be allowed anywhere near these conventions. This guy is seriously freaking me out. Why is his expression like that? Those eyes remind me of the runaway bride. I can see he's going for the whole KISS meets Brian Boitano on meth look. Yikes. But I give him props for keeping it real and bearing his pale nerd sternum to the world. But honestly, I want to wash my eyes after seeing the bulge of the Sith down below. So not right. And did Darth Maul rock a choke collar? I can't quite remember.
Last but not least, we have this guy. Now remember, this is a picture from a STAR WARS convention. WTF? Did his wookie outfit get shrunk in the wash? I had to post it because I was a huge Spiderman fan. And Spiderman has never looked so gay. even Captain European carry-all is inching out of the frame. Truly amazing.
Well I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did. All these photos make me want to go to the next convention. Maybe I'll see some awesome costumes opening night. I'll be sure to get pictures. And you should all go see the movie. If not, I'll give you a full report!
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| Treat your mother right |
| 05.08.05 (11:04 am) [edit] |
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Happy Mother's day to all moms out there! As I am at home currently, I cooked my mom eggs and she had a whistle that she blew like a drill instructer demanding coffee and more bacon. She knows how to work it. You know in Japan they have boy http://www.japan-guide.com/e/... and girl festivals http://www.japan-guide.com/e/... that celebrate the kids for a day. Oh man, if they had that here, I would totally make my parents run around and do my bidding. It wouldn't even be funny.
Anyway, I posted this link before, and it's all over the blogonet by now. But despite it's lack of originality, it is quite relevant for today. And well if you haven't seen it, it's pretty amazing. Mr. T singing about his Mom. When I watch this, I have my own perfect world. What more can you ask for? http://www.milkandcookies.com...
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 05.06.05 (4:59 pm) [edit] |
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Now THIS is entertainment. I saw this on my boy Deeq's Friendster profile and had to snag it. David Blaine is fucking Bush league compared to this guy. I would totally give up a pocket full of Starbucks change if I saw this. India kicks so much ass.
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| Shook ones |
| 05.06.05 (4:48 pm) [edit] |
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Phobias fascinate me. What makes a person fear seemingly harmless things? I think alot of the fears people have that don't really seem to make any sense relate to past lives, but that's just me, and most people would put that in the category of "crazy talk". Modern science probably has a different view on the nature of phobia.
So I found a list of phobias online that have some interesting ones I've never heard of. Since I got bit by that goddamned fucking spider a few weeks ago, I have become slightly Arachnaphobic. I suppose it's less of a phobia and more of a intense hatred. I fucking HATE spiders now. Whenever I see one I jump in the air like Jordan and come crashing down on it, ending its horrible disgusting existence. So I guess it's not exactly a phobia. But in the past I've been accused of suffering from a few. Such as:
Decidophobia: Fear of making decisions.
Didaskaleinophobia: Fear of going to school.
Ergophobia: Fear of work.
Hypengyophobia: Fear of responsibility.
Arithmophobia: Fear of numbers.
Phronemophobia: Fear of thinking.
Testophobia: Fear of taking tests.
Politicophobia: Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
Those are mine, but the rest of the list has some gems. Here are some I enjoyed:
Gallophobia: Fear of France, French culture. (Francophobia)
Alektorophobia: Fear of chickens.
Bolshephobia: Fear of Bolsheviks.
Linonophobia: Fear of string.
Papaphobia: Fear of the Pope. (I have to admit, the new one scares me a bit. He looks like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars.)
Peladophobia: Fear of bald people.
Phobophobia: Fear of phobias.
Zemmiphobia: Fear of the great mole rat. (Doesn't everyone fear it?)
Pogonophobia: Fear of beards.
Pteronophobia: Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Coulrophobia: Fear of clowns. (Rinna!)
Rhabdophobia: Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.(wand)
Check out the whole list..are there any in there that you might have? http://www.phobiaguide.com/
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| Ayatollah's Book Of Etiquette |
| 05.05.05 (12:17 pm) [edit] |
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I found this on Harpers and just had to share. Most likely an infidel myself, I wanted to share some of AK's deepest thoughts regarding food, donkey sex, sweaty camels, and of course western barbarians. Some of these are bizzare and hillarious. Khomeini, you KILL me!!
The Ayatollah's Book Of Etiquette
Posted on Thursday, February 10, 2005. From “A Clarification of Questions,” by Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, published in 1985 by the Westview Press. Khomeini's treatise sets out his position on 3,000 questions of everyday life. Translated by J. Borujerdi. Originally from June 1985.
64. Evacuation is unlawful in four places. First, in dead-end alleys. Second, on the property of a person who has not given his permission. Third, in a place assigned to a specific group of people, such as some schools. Fourth, over the graves of the faithful, if it would be considered disrespectful.
107. The whole body of an infidel, even the hair, the nails, and its wetness, is unclean.
112. Industrial alcohol used for painting doors, tables, chairs, etc., is clean if one does not know it was made of something inebriating.
120. The sweat of a camel that eats unclean substances is unclean.
125. When a clean object touches an unclean object and one or both are wet enough to convey that wetness to the other, then the clean object becomes unclean. But if the wetness is not enough to reach the other, the clean object does not become unclean.
145. If a host, while eating, realizes that the food is unclean, he must inform his guests. But if one of the guests realizes this, it is not necessary to inform the others, unless his relations with the others are such that as a result of remaining silent he himself becomes unclean.
462. Divorcing a menstruating woman is void.
464. If a woman begins menstruating while praying, her prayer is void.
2,054. These are the major abominable dealings. First, selling real estate. Second, butchery. Third, selling shrouds. Fourth, dealing with base people. Fifth, dealing between the morning azan and the onset of sunshine. Sixth, choosing to buy and sell wheat, barley, and the like as one's occupation. Seventh, entering into a deal involving the purchase of a commodity that another person is about to buy.
2,622. Eating locusts caught with the hand or by some other means is lawful after they are dead. It is not necessary that the person who caught them be a Moslem or that he mentioned the name of God when he caught them. But if a dead locust is held by an infidel and it is not known whether it was caught alive, it is not lawful to eat it, even if the person who caught it says that he caught it alive.
2,629. It is not unlawful to swallow the food that exits from between the teeth as a result of flossing if one's nature has no aversion to it.
2,631. It is loathsome to eat the meat of a horse, a mule, or a donkey if someone has had coitus with the animal.
2,637. Several things are loathsome (abominable) when eating. First, eating while satiated. Second, excessive eating (it has been said that the God of the World dislikes a full stomach more than anything else). Third, looking at other people's faces while they are eating. Fourth, eating hot food. Fifth, blowing at what one is eating or drinking. Sixth, waiting for something else after the bread has been put on the tablecloth. Seventh, cutting bread with a knife. Eighth, putting bread under a container of food. Ninth, cleaning the meat stuck to a bone so that nothing remains on it. Tenth, peeling fruit.
2,858. The prizes that banks give to encourage borrowers, and those that institutions give to encourage buyers and customers, are lawful. The thing that sellers put inside their merchandise to attract customers and increase buyers, such as gold coins in boxes of shortening, are lawful and of no concern.
2,874. It is not unlawful to introduce a man's semen into the uterus of his wife with devices such as suction cups.
2,882. When the preservation of a Moslem's life rests on grafting an organ from a dead Moslem, severing that organ and grafting it are acceptable.
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| picture of the day |
| 05.05.05 (12:03 pm) [edit] |
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I want a poster of this for my bedroom. Satan is so HOT right now!
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| Hoff in the news |
| 05.05.05 (11:59 am) [edit] |
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David Hasselhoff named Bollywood's international star of the year
UPI News Service, 05/02/2005
Former "Baywatch" and "Knight Rider" star David Hasselhoff was named international star of the year at the Bollywood Movie Awards held in Atlantic City, N.J.
Hasselhoff has always had international appeal and his old TV shows are hits in India. He has also enjoyed success as a singer, particularly in Germany, where he still continues to tour extensively, reported the BBC Monday.
Yash Chopra won the Best Director Award for "Veer-Zaara," which won Best Film Award and Best Actor Award for Shah Rukh Khan.
"Whether it's comedy or romance or action, film should touch your heart," said Chopra when he accepted his award Saturday.
Other awards went to Rani Mukherjee who won Best Actress Award for her role in "Hum Tum" and actor Shammi Kapoor, who won the Lifetime Achievement Award.
The awards ceremony was held in the United States to raise the profile of Indian films among other audiences.
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 05.04.05 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
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Holy crap. Making tiger rickshaws is not a good idea. At all. I bet those kids are just watching to see if those girls get mauled. I think it's a safe bet.
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| Eyeglasses Television |
| 05.04.05 (12:25 pm) [edit] |
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Japan gets 'Teleglass' to watch movies on the go
Monday, 02 May , 2005, 12:56
Tokyo: Two-and-a-half decades after the Walkman personal stereo livened up commuting, the Japanese will get to watch full-length movies on the subway with a tiny screen hooked on top of eyeglasses.
The 'Teleglass', which goes on sale in June, comes with earphones and a box that connects to a portable DVD player. The wearer will see images as if watching a 14-inch television screen from a distance of one meter (yard), according to an official at Scalar Corp., the Tokyo microscope maker that developed the Teleglass.
People can slap the tiny screen with a 0.24-inch liquid crystal display and lens onto one side of their glasses or those with normal vision can choose to use a pair of sunglasses.
The sunglasses could make them look cool -- or it could indicate they are being mischievous. People nearby have no way of knowing what film is being played on the Teleglass.
Scalar developed the Teleglass jointly with Arisawa Manufacturing Co. Ltd., a Tokyo display materials firm. The gadget is priced around 50,000 yen ($475).
The Teleglass is being introduced two months after Sony Corp.'s Walkman, first introduced in 1979, also got visual. The new Walkman launched in March includes a camera that can create custom album covers or create slideshows to accompany the music.
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| PictureS Of The Day |
| 05.03.05 (5:30 pm) [edit] |
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"Champagne, anyone?"
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| 666: Old and busted. 616: New Hotness. |
| 05.03.05 (5:27 pm) [edit] |
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Attention Satan lovers everywhere! Big news in the world of evil! "A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it's actually the far less ominous 616." http://news.independent.co.uk...
So what does this mean? Absolutely nothing! Other than some people in southern Michigan having evil phone numbers, this doesn't mean squat.
Evil is overated. Sure there is lots of negative bullshit going on in this fucked up world, but an evil number and a guy with red horns that is in charge of all things bad and nasty? I call bullshit. I really don't believe in the devil. The whole idea is a bit ridiculous to me. I think some dudes with big hats back in the day made him up to scare people into attending church and giving them money. Those hats ain't free. They needed that dough.
Anyway, while surfing around today, I came across this awesome site on famous people and the sing of the devil. Some of these are great! Check it out:
I love it! Uber-evil global conspiracies involving washed up celebs and Randy Jackson from American Idol are A OK in my book. (that guy sucks big time, and since he's lost weight he looks like the frog guy from Thundercats.)
Check it out, good tin foil hat material! http://www.jesus-is-savior.co...%20Religions/Wicca%20&%20 Witchcraft/signs_of_satan .htm
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| Rub 'em here, rub em there.... |
| 05.03.05 (5:03 pm) [edit] |
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What do Michael Jackson and K Mart have in common?
They both have little boys pants half off.
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| Robots will eat your children |
| 05.02.05 (4:11 pm) [edit] |
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Sony's Qrio robot attending nursery school in California
Sunday, May 1, 2005 at 07:15 JST
TOKYO — Qrio, a humanoid robot developed by a Sony Intelligence Dynamics Laboratories Inc has been attending a nursery school in California since March to play with children up to 2 years of age in an experiment to help develop a robot that can "live in harmony with humans in the future."
Qrio spends time each day with more than 10 toddlers at the nursery school located in San Diego. Qrio is always accompanied by a researcher, who is in charge of making sure everything goes smoothly. While the children were at first apprehensive about Qrio, they now dance with it and help it get up when it falls. "The children think of Qrio as a feeble younger brother," researcher Fumihide Tanaka said. (Kyodo News)
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 05.02.05 (3:46 pm) [edit] |
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Is this why my mail never comes on time? Get back to work, you lazy bastard!
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| Computers are assholes |
| 05.02.05 (3:28 pm) [edit] |
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Ug. Sorry I havent posted in a bit, or had time to respond to comments. I was busy, and had a death in the family, which made me forget about monkeys for a while..Plus the annoyance of photobucket being assholes not coughing up the bandwidth made me put this shit off, but luckily friend Rinna put me on to Imageshack, so we'll see if they work out because I have a plethora of stupid pictures I absolutely must post online for you all. (Like how I used an S.A.T. word there?)
Anyway, thanks to all of you for coming here so much that my bandwidth was exceeded. Thats awesome. Do it some more. Fuck photobucket. I need my monkey pictures. Who are they to tell me I can't share them all? So friends, I will be around alot more this month. Here comes the stupid!
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