Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
My Links
Abbiedarling's Blog
Assalicious's Blog
Austennight's Blog
brogonzo's blog
Brorizzo's Blog
Deviant1's blog
DMK's Blog
Elmo's Blog
Frunobuland
Gbruno's blog
Gonzo.ID's blog
Hungry Hyaena
Johnny Ruin's Blog
Krazedone's Blog
Kumedigity's Blog
Kurtmaddox's Blog
Librariananguish's Blog
Misha's Blog
Rinna
Verucassalty
Vitriolic MOnkey
Yadig's Blog
Ain't It Cool News
Ape Child
Attu Ses All
Aurgasm
BlestEnation
Boom Selection
The Bootleg Archive
Coast to Coast AM
Confessions Of A Monkey
cocaine blunts
db-db
Defamer.com
The Disclosure Project
Ebaum's World
Eccentric Cinema
everlasting Blort
Exploding Cigar
Fark
Fezgod
Geisha's Blog
Get your war on
Go Fug Yourself
Google newsmap
db-db
gorilla mask
Japan Hero
Japander.com
John Titor
Kaiju Blog
Kontraband.com
Kid Robot
Knob Tweakers
Kung Foo
Link Filter
Lord Vader's blog
Miguel.com
Mister Pants
Maddox
Meta Filter
Milk And Cookies
The moldy Peaches
Monkey Day News
More Cowbell
Newstoday
octopus dropkick
The Onion
Paranormal News
The Phat Phree
Presurfer
Reality Carnival
Retrocrush
Retro Randy
Ritilan.com
Snaps Blog
Stomp Tokyo
Sacred Text archive
scissorkick
So many shrimp
SETI
Soul-sides
Stereo Gum
Spiky Thing
Tacky Times
thisismycomputerblog
Tofu Hut
transbuddha
Turban head
Waxy.org
Wacky things from Japan
vice
we make money not art
Whitely Strieber's Unknown Country
Wonderland
Zfilter
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
Daily Tip:
|
| I HATE you, Constantine |
| 04.26.05 (6:09 pm) [edit] |
|
You all may remember my post on that shitty red haired kid from last season of Idol. http://www.tblog.com/template... Luckily American teens finally came to their senses and voted that dipshit off the air. (I hope they never let him sing again). Well I have found a new person to hate this season: Constantine Maroulis.
Lord I wish I was a good writer, because I truly hate this fucking person so much that it's beyond my limited vocabulary. I haven't watched that much of this season, but whenever I watch him "sing", it's like being stung by giant wasps in the eyes and ears. Just looking at him ruins my entire day. No joke. The fact that he even has a shot at landing a record deal makes me think Armaggeddon is just around the corner. But no matter how hard I try, I can't help but stare. It's like when you drive by a horrible accident and that bad part of you has to look. Oh my god I can't stand him. Thank God for Simon who always keeps it real and tells the kid he's a soulless shill pandering to his audience. I despise his piss poor singing and constant pug faced smirking. Cut the shit, guy. You are NOT a Rock star. For the love of God, you're singing fucking Partridge family songs. Get a grip. Why not try acting like yourself and stop kicking at the camera and spewing your manufactured angst in my face, shithead.
Children of America: Please DO NOT vote for this guy. I know most of you are half retarded from a constant barrage of television propaganda telling what's cool, but believe me, this kid sucks the mean one. Vote him off. If you see him in the street, throw a cup of coffee on him and tell him it's "Rock And Roll". And vote for anyone but him. (Except Anthony Federov. That kid takes the fucking bus). Go and vote for the big guy with the glasses. He may not have a faux leather jacket and a super rocking attitude, but at least he can sing. But whatever you do young ones, don't vote Constantine.
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.25.05 (9:18 am) [edit] |
Can you believe the balls on this guy?
|
|
|
| |
| Back on the grid |
| 04.25.05 (8:55 am) [edit] |
|
Well I'm back. Truly sorry for the long absence, it warrants an explanation. I flew back to NYC back on the 15th, just for a few weeks to visit friends and get ready to go back to school. All was well until I had to go to the hospital.
About 3 days prior to leaving home, I noticed a bug bite on my thigh. I had killed a few mean looking spiders in the last weeks, and figured it was a spider bite. Of course I ignored it like the dipshit baboon I am, and it got worse and worse. I was a little freaked because I had never had any kind of wound that got worse within days. So I googled spider bites, and it looked alot like a wolf spider bite http://www.ento.okstate.edu/d... or a brown recluse spider bitehttp://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-f... Then one night the pain was so bad I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go to the hospital.
After waiting 3 hours, they gave me a half assed exam and prescribed me antibiotics. But by the time I had begun to administer, the blister had popped, leaving me with a gimpy leg and a foul mood. But luckily, I now had drugs.
I just want to say Antibiotics are fucking amazing. Within 3 days, The bite had reduced in size, become less painful, and now its almost completely gone. Thank God. What a miserable fucking experience. Unfortunately as a result, I've become a bit arachnaphobic.
So there you go. I would have been toiling away at my dirty little monkey corner of cyberspace, but this stupid spider fiasco and seeing lots of people during the past week kept me away from the computer. Once again, sorry for the delay, folks. 10 days is too long to go without monkeys..
|
|
|
| |
| PictureS Of The Day |
| 04.15.05 (6:06 am) [edit] |
Unfortunatelly I'm gonna be away from the computer most of the weekend...sorry folks..
But to show you I care, here are some roses..
And don't forget: By request only..
I'll be your Superman.
|
|
|
| |
| Hard habit to kick.. |
| 04.14.05 (6:05 pm) [edit] |
|
[b]Zoo wants chimpanzee to stop smoking[/b]
Reuters
Apr. 14, 2005 12:01 PM
JOHANNESBURG - A South African zoo is trying to persuade its star chimpanzee to kick a bad smoking habit.
Charlie, a grown male chimp and the Bloemfontein Zoo, has been picking up cigarettes thrown to him by visitors and smoking them -- a habit he probably picked up by observing humans, zoo officials told the SAPA news agency on Thursday.
"Baby chimps pick up habits by mimicking adults and we think he started mimicking smokers at his enclosure which probably led to smokers throwing him cigarettes," spokesman Daryl Barnes told SAPA.
Barnes said Charlie was already showing the signs of a true nicotine addict.
"He even acts like a naughty schoolboy by hiding the cigarette when staff approach the area," Barnes said, adding that the zoo was determined to help him quit.
Barnes said the most important thing was that people stop providing Charlie with cigarettes or any other treats, noting the chimp already had three bad teeth because of all the cans of sweet soft drinks that people throw at him.
Charlie is not the only smoking chimpanzee. A zoo in the Chinese city of Zhengzhou reported last year that one of its chimps had taken up smoking and was desperately cadging cigarette butts off visitors.
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.14.05 (12:48 pm) [edit] |
|
Any mood I was in has vaporized upon seeing this. I'll have five of whatever they are having. Spectacular. The guy up top looks like a drunken 1970's hockey player moonlighting as a homosexual Spanish bullfighter. A+. Every one of these people I would party with.
|
|
|
| |
| Red Tape |
| 04.14.05 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
|
Ugh. My head hurts. It's been a long day with a phone on my ear. As many of you know, I'm taking a hiatus from big city living, and have decided to go back to school to finish an old degree. Although I'm a bit worred how I will do in class, I look forward to going back. I really hope it will be like the Rodney Dangerfield movie I hold so close to my heart, but chances are it will be alot less glamorous.
I've been trying to register for classes, and it's amazing how fucking complex the process can be to try and get things done in an academic administration. Processes like online registration and automated phone robots have been placed in the system to make everything seem easier. But like so many other realms of life, everything has seemingly become more complicated. Phone calls lead here and there, then to nowhere, leading to me swearing alot, leading to my mom saying I swear to much, leading to me swearing quietely under my breath.
Finally after alot of hair pulling dead ends, one nice old lady named Mary told me to register online, and when I finally got past the poorly designed network and plugged in my data, it gave me an error. So I called her back, and this is how the conversation went:
[b]Me:[/b] "Uh, hi. Mary? this is Erik. I spoke to you before? Yeah. Uh, I received an error online while registering. Is there any chance I can do it in person with you or perhaps speak to someone to guide me through the process?"
[b]Old Lady:[/b] "No. I am here, and honey, you need to go online. The computer should have sent you a letter. Also what is your number?"
[b]Me:[/b] "I have no idea. Do you mean an e-mail? I was sent an email confirmation? I have no numbers, Ma'am."
[b]Old Lady:[/b] "No. not email. a letter with the number was sent to you by the COMPUTER. Our computer should have mailed you.."
[b]Me:[/b] "You mean email. I'll check."
[b]Old Lady:[/b] "No! Wait...(awkward silence) hmmm. Joe here tells me the system is down. Call tomorrow, or check for a mail. And make sure you have the banner number."
[b]Me:[/b] "Uh. ok. I'm having difficulty understanding this. When is good time to call tomorrow? I have a busy schedule and would like to take care of this ASAP."
[b]Old Lady:[/b] "Great. Ok, hun. Bye bye."
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus. I am pissy now. Who's bright idea was it to put colonial pilgrims in charge of tech support over there? No offense to Mary, but she was just too goddamned OLD to help. They probably didn't even have cars when she was born. And she's supposed to navigate me through a online university network? I'm surprised she didn't call the computer a mechanical brain. Fuck. Oh well, I'll try again tommorow. Damn red tape.
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.13.05 (2:11 pm) [edit] |
|
This guy's name is Master Maro. And if I could declare an official spokesman for this blog of mine, he would most certainly get the job. Why? Because asian Karate masters who rock Elvis buffont hairstyles are instant winners at life in my book. Jesus this guy kicks ass. (here's another action shot of the master: http://www.pipitan.com/cospla...)
|
|
|
| |
| Nintendo songs: Acapella! |
| 04.13.05 (2:06 pm) [edit] |
|
This is awesome. Some acapella group took their love of old school Nintendo games and translated it into a medley of songs from classics like Mario, Zelda, Tetris, and others. For those who make beats and sample (Mantis, I'm looking at you) some good stuff. Being a gaming geek, I'm a huge fan of this shit. Check it out: http://gprime.net/video.php/n...
|
|
|
| |
| Remixed book covers |
| 04.13.05 (1:59 pm) [edit] |
|
This is a gallery of remixed covers of "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. Good for a quick laugh. I think I read some of these when I was young. They all seem strangely farmiliar..Did anyone read these as a kid? http://www.somethingawful.com...
|
|
|
| |
| Britney's pregnant. And I don't give a shit. |
| 04.12.05 (6:07 pm) [edit] |
|
So the rumors are true. Britney Spears is pregnant. http://story.news.yahoo.com/n... Kevin Federline knocked her up good. So now I imagine they will proceed to raise white trash babies and have a happy, happy life wearing crooked trucker hats and smoking meth out of lightbulbs cooped up in a bloated mansion somewhere up in the Hollywood hills. All I gotta say is: Who fucking cares? Really. Britney hasn't even made music in a long time (which she never really did in the first place). She's been too busy housing bags of cheeetos and ripping kools to give a fuck about making music. Anyway, it's not like she's about to birth the next Einstein. Mrs. Federline is not exactly a Rhodes scholar.
Here's a quote:
[b]"The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff."[/b]
Jesus Fucking Christ. Hey Kev & Brit, do make sure to bring your half-retard kid on that transatlantic voyage to visit the remote and mystical land of Canada, you fucking twit you.
I guess I'm getting a little saturated with this world-wide obsession with celebrity watching. I really don't give a rats ass if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are bumping uglies in some secret mansion hideaway. I truly don't care what Michael Jackson's fucking pajamas look like. And I could give a shit what Oprah's pilates regime is. "How DOES she stay so fit?" FUCK OFF! She's a BILLIONARE for Christ's sake!
For the record, I met more than a few celebrities in my old job, Britney included. And once you take away the 500 dollar haircuts, the groveling, sycophantic assistants attached at the neck with invisible leashes, and the pompous elitist stench they exude, they're just fucking morons like you and me.
Enough. I don't want to read about these people anymore. I don't want to watch VH1 talk about the top 99 hottest hollywood hotties anymore. I don't care what Paris Hilton said in her emails to Linsday Lohan. Jesus Christ. I can't stand this shit. I'm really really really glad I don't live in Hollywood.
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.12.05 (2:14 pm) [edit] |
|
Ticket to the US Open: $140.
Fat crazy guy dressed like Serena Williams: [b]Priceless.[/b]
|
|
|
| |
| Found Footage Festival |
| 04.12.05 (2:12 pm) [edit] |
|
I found this on Transbuddha earlier today, and had to share. This is a preview for a festival that is showing video clips of random footage found in dumpsters, closets, and other places all over the strange land of America. Check out the preview.. it contains the infamous Wendy's rapping training video (previously posted here:http://www.tblog.com/template...) and some other classics. Like the swearing Winnebago salesman, and my new favorites John and Johnny, the totally awesome freakshows pedddling aviator "Ferrari" sunglasses pictured above. Check it out: http://www.cine-magic.com/fff...
They are screening this in Brooklyn, NY on Aug 5th. Here are the screenings: http://www.cine-magic.com/FFF... I really want to check this out!
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.11.05 (11:32 am) [edit] |
|
How to turn an average monkey into a robotic dog in 4 easy steps. Battlestar Galactica was my junk back in the day. Doesn't the handler look like Ben Stiller in Happy Gillmore? That mustache is a force to be reckoned with.
|
|
|
| |
| Billy Dee Boozebag |
| 04.11.05 (11:24 am) [edit] |
|
Remember when Lando Calrissian used to pitch malt liquor? That was the best. I miss the good old days.
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.10.05 (9:40 pm) [edit] |
|
Who would have guessed that Clint Eastwood was a Sleestak from "Land Of The Lost". This explains so much to me.
|
|
|
| |
| Old guy |
| 04.10.05 (9:10 pm) [edit] |
|
I love quiet Sundays. Just me, my dogs, and a computer. The last few days have been busy. My sister came to visit on her Spring Break from school on Wednesday, and brought her 2 college roomates with her. I'm 27, and she's 21, But her roomates are 19 and 18, and this weekend my house turned into some warped version of MTV's Spring break beach cabana.
While I've been visiting my family, I've enjoyed the quiet boredom of the midwest. I've been focused on getting healthy, reading, relaxing, and working on my inner peace. But the last few days I've spent my mornings waking up to the sounds of 100% Jock Jams and fill-in-the-blank bubble gum pop ballads.
Frankly, I can't tell you how waking up to B2K feels. I've woken up in prison, and it's a similar feeling. Hearing Omarion croon as I rouse from my slumber is akin to getting breakfast in bed. Except the breakfast is poison. And you are forced to eat it until you die. I felt like Alex in A Clockwork Orange when he has to sit through that brainwashing video, except I would have prefered that because fucking B2K wasn't singing in it.
After all the drinking games, boy talk, and teenage girl drama (and being forced to watch abominations of film like "Alfie" that made me want to put a loaded desert eagle in my mouth and put a metal slug in my brain) it all ended well, and the girls drove home.
Family is a funny thing. This weekend I saw that to my sister I went from being the older brother she looked up to for being hip and cool, to being her brother who's old, and just happens to be less of a dork than other old people. But all in all, it was really good to see her, and her TRL roomates made me their honorary big brother, and let me know that I was "cool". Silly, silly children, I already knew that. I guess they can't be faulted for not knowing my pimp hand is strong.
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.07.05 (9:17 am) [edit] |
|
I'll relax when you stop looking at me like a baby petter, Romark.
|
|
|
| |
| Sony patent takes first step towards real-life Matrix |
| 04.07.05 (9:16 am) [edit] |
|
"IMAGINE movies and computer games in which you get to smell, taste and perhaps even feel things. That's the tantalising prospect raised by a patent on a device for transmitting sensory data directly into the human brain - granted to none other than the entertainment giant Sony.
The technique suggested in the patent is entirely non-invasive. It describes a device that fires pulses of ultrasound at the head to modify firing patterns in targeted parts of the brain, creating "sensory experiences" ranging from moving images to tastes and sounds. This could give blind or deaf people the chance to see or hear, the patent claims."
Just imagine what this can do for blind people, and the physically diasabled. Truly amazing stuff. I hope it's used for good and not just playstation games. Read the whole article here, fascinating: http://www.newscientist.com/a...
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.06.05 (7:20 pm) [edit] |
|
How fucking hammered do you have to be to play the harmonica like that? He looks like he's throwing up gang signs. ( I guess they could be crips, they are all wearing red.) Seriously, have another gentlemen. The whole crew looks three sheets to the wind. The NASA mission control looking dude on the bottom looks like he's been huffing ether all day. Jesus, this music must be intense!
|
|
|
| |
| Stop, or my droid will shoot! |
| 04.06.05 (7:14 pm) [edit] |
|
This is a story about a mild mannered robot from Japan who just happened to be chief of Police.
On his last job, "Artemis T63" had functioned as a Japanese mall cop when it patrolled a popular shopping mall in Fukuoka, where it would patrol an 80-meter shopping arcade, detecting and memorizing car license plates it found in the area in Fukuoka's Hakata-ku. I like to think it was like all mall cops I've seen, and spent the majority of the day staring down unruly Japanese teenagers and hitting on the hot girl working the Orange Julius.
But He obviously did something right, because he was made chief of police for the day. Jesus H Christ.
"FUKUOKA — The Hakata police station in Fukuoka appointed a high-performance security robot its chief for a day Wednesday as part of a campaign to promote safe driving. The robot, developed by a Kitakyushu-based company, is named "T63 Artemis" after the Greek moon goddess Artemis.
The 157-centimeter robot with two arms is powered by battery and can move independently. It is equipped with light and sound sensors and can throw colored balls at those acting suspiciously. In a ceremony at JR Hakata Station, Hakata police chief Kikuo Mori handed a letter of assignment to the robot, which donned a police hat and a campaign banner. (Kyodo News)".
Crazy. I really hope they don't start giving these things weapons. Hello, Apocalypse, here we come! :)
(For more info on the robot, click here: http://www.gizmag.com/go/2635...)
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.05.05 (4:56 pm) [edit] |
|
All hail Monkey Pants.
|
|
|
| |
| Zee Robots |
| 04.05.05 (4:48 pm) [edit] |
|
Many a moon ago Kid Dammit told me he wanted to build a mecha robot. And I agreed it would be most triumphant to build one. Well KD, look no further. somebody in Japan already built one.
Just fucking LOOK at that thing!
Go to this site: http://translate.google.com/t...%3A%2F%2Fwww.sakakibara-kikai.co.jp%2Fproducts%2Fother%2FL W.htm&langpair=ja%7Cen&hl=e n&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&prev= %2Flanguage_tools There you can see the pics of it, and even watch a movie of the bastard walking around! http://www.sakakibara-kikai.c... That sold me on it, I thought it was fake until then. So badass. It even has mock guns on the side. Just think of the mayhem one of these could cause. It looks like the robot that snuffed Robocop in Robocop 2, except cooler, because you can sit in it! Fucking boss.
Welcome to the future, proles.
|
|
|
| |
| Women and their dogs |
| 04.05.05 (4:31 pm) [edit] |
|
This is a site of a dude in the UK that collects pictures of women with their dogs. Really.
"Hello and welcome to my little corner of the world wide web. This page isn't about me so much, it's more about my hobby. I collect second-hand photographs of women and dogs. That's right, both women and dogs together."
Anyway, some of these are really old. A few of these are kind of creepy, like looking at ghosts and the pet ghosts that loved them. http://www.womenanddogsuk.co....
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.04.05 (12:47 pm) [edit] |
|
I can't tell what I enjoy more, Ken Dodd's totally fantastic teeth, or the priceless expression on the dog's face. I also want to know what the hell Ken Dodd is staring at. I bet he's hiding a vicious lazy eye. I really want to hear his music. He's got a great face for radio.
|
|
|
| |
| Parliament Fist Fights |
| 04.04.05 (12:36 pm) [edit] |
|
Those who know me well will tell you that one of my favorite things in this world is watching giant fights break out in government. When I see this, it's reassuring to me in a weird way. It makes me realize that the chosen leaders of the world are stupid animals just like me. Whenever I watch the evening news, I usually get depressed by report after report of American political back and forth debates, and I wonder if there are better ways to solve these things. In my humble opinion, America has got it all wrong with the whole civil debate and conversational approach to modern government. I think we need some good old fashioned fistfights.
We are the most violent nation in the world, yet you don't see congress and the senate exploding into old man skirmishes at all. How great would it be to see Dick Cheney throwning down with John Kerry? Seriously think about that. I think Kerry would fight like an old-school fistucuff boxer http://www.twincityswedes.org..., but I bet Cheney is dirty. I can see him biting a leg. (I'd put the benjamins on Kerry, he's got those long arms, and Cheney wouldnt last three rounds, he has a heart like the Tin Man.) I really think we need this, as America is getting more and more divided into fiercely opinionated political camps by the day. It would surely break tension between parties, and I think it should be encouraged.
So here are a few clips of recent parliament fist fights.
First a recent set of brawls in Somali and Indonesia parliaments: http://helix.ksl.com/video/ks...
Some good footage of Russians throwing down: (scroll down, video link) http://uttm.com/stories/2003/...
And here is a fun brawl erupting in Taiwan.http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/News...
I'm going to try and find some more...
|
|
|
| |
| Picture Of The Day |
| 04.01.05 (5:14 pm) [edit] |
|
This guy would be the champion in anything he attempted. That hat is so jive I didnt even see the gun at first glance. I bet his friends call him King Fred. I would.
|
|
|
| |
| Sin City |
| 04.01.05 (5:10 pm) [edit] |
|
I just saw Sin City, and that movie fucking owns. Its filled with blood, guts, and campy comic book goodness, and I loved every damned minute of it. Mickey Rourke steals the show. The guy kicks alot of ass. Super super violent, and super fun. And I really haven't seen a movie so accurately translate a comic book world so well. Anyway, dope ass flick, just thought I'd share. Here's a good article from Wired on the making of the movie, interesting stuff: http://www.wired.com/wired/ar...
|
|
|
| |
|
Jan2005
Feb2005
Mar2005
Apr2005
May2005
June2005
|
