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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.31.04 (10:54 pm) [edit] |
Koko the Gorilla: my hero.
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| Vlad The Impaler: The Real Dracula |
| 10.31.04 (10:43 pm) [edit] |
Ah, Halloween. The time of the year where dressing up like evil monsters gets you sweet sweet candy. I love it. Today I saw a kid dressed as Dracula trick or treating, and wondered to myself if he knew the story behind the real Dracula. Well kid, the real Dracula was a pretty fucking scary guy.
Vlad the Impaler, a.k.a. Vlad III, Dracula, Drakulya, or Tepes, was born in late 1431, in the citadel of Sighisoara, Transylvania, the son of Vlad II or Dracul, a military governor, appointed by Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund. The name Dracul can be interpreted in two ways, the first translation from Romanian would be "Dragon", but it sometimes also means "Devil". Vlad was not called Tepes, which means ""spike" in Romanian, until after his death; instead, he was known as Vlad Dracula, the added "a" meaning "son of", so essentially, throughout his life, he was known as the "son of the Devil.
And he sure lived up to that name. here's a snippet from his resume:
"Rumours abound that Vlad also ate the flesh, and drank the blood of his enemies, often holding dinner parties next to the freshly impaled. He was very proud of his work, and anyone who showed disdain while looking upon the thousands of putrefying corpses would soon suffer the same fate. Vlad liked to arrange the impaled in circular patterns, the length of the stakes determined by the victim's rank; this way, wealthy, or powerful opponents would plainly see they were not above the law."
To Read more about Mad Vlad, go here..http://www.vladtheimpaler.com... Happy Halloween, people..!
:twisted:
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| Monkey Leader |
| 10.30.04 (7:11 pm) [edit] |
Ah that made me laugh. He really looks like a monkey. BTW, If you haven't seen his "one fingered victory salute" plastered all over the internets, watch it here: http://www.funnyjunk.com/movi...+Uncensored!!+Bush+gives+ the+finger!/stream
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.30.04 (2:35 pm) [edit] |
I really don't know what to say. If I saw this driving down the street I'd probably crash. What in the world is going on here?
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| Brain Cells Fly Plane!!! |
| 10.27.04 (11:17 am) [edit] |
" An array of rat brain cells has successfully flown a virtual F-22 fighter jet. The cells could one day become a more sophisticated replacement for the computers that control uncrewed aerial vehicles or, in the nearer future, form a test-bed for drugs against brain diseases such as epilepsy. "
wow..What the hell is going on in the world? Science is going crazy! read more here: http://www.newscientist.com/n...
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| Picture of the day |
| 10.26.04 (9:11 am) [edit] |
Now [b]that's [/b]rock n roll..
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| Clap your hands, everybody... |
| 10.26.04 (8:39 am) [edit] |
So I was online doing research for my halloween costume, and was checking out some pics from the movie "Revenge Of The Nerds" and remembered the awesome song they performed in the movie. Seriously, it was one of the best songs ever. It had electronic sounds, breaking, moonwalking, electric violin, a gong, a guitar, and of course rapping.
Nowadays, gay is very chic, and rappers are getting gayer than ever ([i] see Lloyd Banks-ed.) [/i]But before all these followers, there was a true leader. A man who pioneered showmanship and flamboyance in hip hop. The first and best gay rapper of all time, Lamar.
For those of you who havent seen him rap, I'm very sorry for you. His performance in the movie is fantastic. Sometimes the melody of the song gets stuck in my head for no reason..its that great. Well you can watch it too..Here it is for all of you to hear and see: http://www.blairmag.com/blair...
Peep the lyrics:
"Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands!
We're Lambda Lambda Lambda and... Omega Mu
We come here on stage tonight to do a show for you
We've got a rockin rhythm and a high tech sound
That'll make you move your body down to the ground
We've got Poindexter on the violin
And Louis and Gilbert will be joinin' in
We've got Booger Presley on a mean guitar
And a rap by little old me Lamar
We've got Takashi beating on his gong
The boys and the Mu's are clapping along
And just when you thought you'd seen it all
Along comes a Lambda 4 ft tall!"
Wow. 50 cent has got nothing on this guy!
:shock:
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| Underwear goes inside your pants! |
| 10.26.04 (8:17 am) [edit] |
This is a video for a song by Lazyboy that has a comedian ranting about the injustices and bullshit in the world and does it in a clever way. He says so much stuff in this song, it had to be posted. Some of these I was like "yeah, youre right!" and then I realized I was speaking out loud with no one in the room, interacting with a glowing computer screen as if it was a hot blooded person. Anyway, a good video:
http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/universalmotow n/motown/lazyboy/video/00 _underweargoesinsideyourp ants.asx" title="http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/universalmotow n/motown/lazyboy/video/00 _underweargoesinsideyourp ants.asx" target="_blank"http://boss.streamos.com/wmed...
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.25.04 (8:00 pm) [edit] |
Thanks to Professor Nanda for sending me this one from his archives. Thats how I feel every monday.
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| Vote Zod 2004 |
| 10.25.04 (12:37 am) [edit] |
With the American presidential election only a few weeks away, we at Monkeys for Helping have made our decision. We have decided to back General Zod for president.
Kerry and Bush may have plenty of fancy policies and political savy, but neither of them have lasers that shoot out of their eyes. Plus, do you think either of them could go blow for blow with Superman? No way. But Zod can. Please click here, http://www.generalzod.net/ and show your support for General Zod. Resistance is futile!
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| Japanese Motorcycle Club |
| 10.24.04 (7:39 pm) [edit] |
Check out this photo essay on a Japanese scooter club. These bikes make Tron look like the Flintstones. So awesome. I think I'm turning Japanese. (I really think so.) http://masamania.com/archives...
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| Monkey washing cat |
| 10.21.04 (11:37 pm) [edit] |
I could watch this clip forever. I really mean it. Forever. For the rest of my natural life.
I might stare at it to meditate and contemplate my own existence.
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| Picture of the day |
| 10.18.04 (5:06 pm) [edit] |
Who would win?
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| Kerry pics with captions |
| 10.18.04 (3:24 pm) [edit] |
[b]John Kerry supports using evil powers to blast back a crowd. [/b]
Some of these made me laugh..good stuff: http://www4.ncsu.edu/~drtaylor/kerry/kerry.html
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| Throw another blog on the fire |
| 10.18.04 (3:17 pm) [edit] |
wow.. I haven't posted in a while, I guess I've been really busy..I found my ass back in the studio working on a new track, and its coming out nice. It's nice to get back into the mix of things. Had a wedding this weekend for some college friends which was a blast, and monday hangovers are just about as bad as crib death.
This weekend I had an epiphany. I am getting old. I came over to Dylan's studio to work with him and the Mantis on some new stuff. Someone said something and I said 'Word On". Word On? Are you fucking kidding me? Instead of saying "Word Up" it somehow came out as "Word On". this shook me to my core. My brain simply misfired. Now I say stupid things alot, and I am not that smart. But I now feel like my grasp on the world of the "hip and young" is slipping into a place where I wear my pants up to my chest and speak slang all ass backwards. Oh well, I'll roll with the punches and make the best of it. I think I'll start using slang wrong on purpose all the time like my parents or other old people. It might lead to comical awkward moments which are fun to watch and painful to be in. We'll see...
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| Earth from above |
| 10.13.04 (12:36 am) [edit] |
Saw this link earlier on several sites, and had to share it. Lots of cool aerial photos of different countries. Makes me want to learn to fly...
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?pais=AntarctiquepoleS ud&pais0=Albanie&pais0=An tarctiquepoleSud" title="http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?pais=AntarctiquepoleS ud&pais0=Albanie&pais0=An tarctiquepoleSud" target="_blank"http://www.yannarthusbertrand...
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.12.04 (10:04 pm) [edit] |
Every time you see me that Hammer's just so hype...
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic..
Now why would I ever stop doing this..
With others makin' records they just dont get it..
I toured around the world from London to The Bay..
It's Hammer go Hammer MC Hammer Yo Hammer
and the rest go and play..
[b] U can't touch this![/b]
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| I hear there is rumors on the ah, internets.. |
| 10.12.04 (9:51 pm) [edit] |
And I hear we have a commander in chief who speaks english like a drunken Imelda Marcos. Best site ever.
http://www.rumorsontheinternets.com" title="http://www.rumorsontheinternets.com" target="_blank"http://www.rumorsontheinterne...
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.11.04 (12:15 am) [edit] |
I think the guy on the far right really thinks he's in outer space. Thats the face I'd make if I thought that.
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| Jacko, and the Irish ghost in the bottle |
| 10.11.04 (12:09 am) [edit] |
This is just bizarre. Michael Jackson must really be losing his mind...
[b]JACKSON 'BID TO BUY GHOST'[/b]
Singer Michael Jackson is reported to be bidding on a genuine Irish ghost "trapped in a bottle".
The bottle, owned by retired mill worker John McMenamin from Spamount, County Tyrone, is for sale on eBay.
Since then, it has been reported in a national newspaper that an agent representing Michael Jackson is involved in the bidding.
Mr McMenamin discovered it partially cemented into a bricked-up window 25 years ago.
It is at least 100 years old and was said to be placed there by a priest following a failed exorcism.
He believes it contains the ghost of a rogue landlord who took his own life several years ago.
John McMenamin's sister, Marie Maguire, told BBC Northern Ireland's Nolan Show that her brother wanted to pass on the responsibility of owning a ghost to someone else.
[b]HAUNTED HOME[/b]
"The bottle has black dust in it and is sealed with a page from the Bible," she said.
The McMenamins moved into the reputedly haunted mill house in Spamount in the 1950s.
"The big house we moved into was divided into three homes and we all knew it was haunted," she explained.
"The previous people wanted out and did a swap with us because of the ghost. My mother believed in getting the house blessed and the power of holy water."
Mrs Maguire said that the ghost was supposed to be that of the house's original owner who got a young girl pregnant in the 19th century. She hanged herself and local people made his life a misery. So he took his own life.
Legend has it that the hauntings started shortly after that.
She said a priest tried to exorcise the ghost, trapped it in a bottle and sealed it up in a window.
Their house was definitely haunted, she said.
"I remember, as a child, waking up, screaming that somebody was looking at me in bed.
"My brother had several experiences, as if something was coming up the bed, like a cat's paws."
When her brother told her recently that he had the bottle, she decided to put it up for sale on eBay.
"I described it as a genuine Irish ghost in a bottle. We wanted to get somebody who would treat it with respect," she said.
Mrs Maguire told BBC News Online on Friday that she could not confirm that Michael Jackson was bidding on the ghost.
She has not been able to access the eBay on her computer - a clear case of a ghost in the machine.
see article here, with pic: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk...
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| Today would be a perfect day.. |
| 10.10.04 (11:42 pm) [edit] |
for a helper monkey. I want one to sit on my shoulder and serve me soup while I watch 60 minutes. I showed my mother this page and she thought the title was funny..She really doesn't believe there is such a thing as a helper monkey. She would love one of her own, but she doesn't believe they actually exist. Well Mom, you asked for proof, so here it is....watch this video of a disabled man and his buddy Gizmo. Gizmo is a Capuchin monkey who is trained to be a personal helper.This monkey does some pretty amazing things: http://www.helpinghandsmonkey...
(for more info on Helping Hands Monkeys, go here: http://www.helpinghandsmonkey...)
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| Picture of the day |
| 10.08.04 (11:04 am) [edit] |
Ah Friday. The only day better is Saturday. My friend Deeq is turning 30 this Saturday, and has planned one of those parties that tend to get out of hand. I for one plan on throwing down. For the first half of the weekend I'll look like the monkey in the chair, and for Sunday and Monday I will look and feel like the old guy. Have a good one people..
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.07.04 (12:43 am) [edit] |
There is nothing I can say to make this picture any more awesome than it already is. Mr. Valdor, I would follow you into the depths of Hades.
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| Vice Presidential Monkey fight |
| 10.06.04 (1:13 pm) [edit] |
I watched the debate last night, and it was pretty fucking boring. Me and my roomate ended up bailing on it after a while and watched the season finale of "Nip/Tuck" instead, which was far more entertaining. Unlike the presidential debate, this one lacked pizazz. I think it's because they were sitting down. Cheney couldnt stand for an hour without having his heart explode I guess. It was just too mellow for me. For those of you who missed it, here's what happened in a nutshell:
"Mr. Vice President, the American people deserve to know the truth about Iraq/Alqaeda/Osama Bin Laden/the economy/the future. You and Bush are no good for the people of this holy magical land, and Halliburton is just plain bad. Your administration has systematically....."
"Silence! Listen to me, human. Look into my horrible eyes and witness the power of your own destruction! Bow before me NOW and I will forgive your insubordination. Behold the nexus of power you wish to posess! Does it make you envious? I have ruled your race beneath the earth in my secret lair along with my minions for centuries upon centuries. Do you think you and your horse faced leader can stop us? Fools! Your pathetic rebel alliance and foolish leader shall perish along with your so called "American People". You have shown yourself to be a terrorist, and will be liquidated in the coming purification. Cheney has spoken! "
(Well, at least that's what I heard: )
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.05.04 (11:56 pm) [edit] |
Yep. I'm probably going to have nightmares tonight.
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| Rodney Dangerfield: RIP |
| 10.05.04 (11:49 pm) [edit] |
Wow, I just heard Rodney Dangerfield passed away today. What a bummer. I always thought he was hillarious. You could just look at him and crack up. And only him and Henny Youngman could pull off the one liners. Peace Rodney. You'll be missed. Here are a few of his jokes that only he could tell:
I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. Well, I told him I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!
When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!
Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."
I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!
I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."
I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"
I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
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| Picture of the day |
| 10.04.04 (1:45 pm) [edit] |
Gabe, thanks for sending me this. Frankly, I'm speechless. All I know is I want to know what this thing does. And I want one in my living room.
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| Picture Of The Day |
| 10.03.04 (5:10 pm) [edit] |
Muchas gracias ABBA. Not only for the music, but for having the courage to wear color-coordinated jumpsuits with belts and disco cowboy boots. And thank you bearded ABBA guy, for bearing your chest hair to the world. If Richard Simmons had roadies, I bet this is what they'd look like. Doesn't it look like they are looking into a giant mirror and laughing at themselves? I bet they didn't even know they were being photographed..
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| Weird LP Art |
| 10.03.04 (4:59 pm) [edit] |
I found this site that has tons of weird and unusual LP covers, and by far the best ones are in the Christian galleries. There are tons of awesome records I wish I had just for the artwork. Here are a few of my favorites:
Check out these galleries: http://showandtellmusic.com/p...
http://showandtellmusic.com/pages/galleries_main2 .html" title="http://showandtellmusic.com/pages/galleries_main2 .html" target="_blank"http://showandtellmusic.com/p...
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| Picture of the day |
| 10.01.04 (3:26 pm) [edit] |
People of Minnesota, I present to you your Governor.
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| The Debate.. |
| 10.01.04 (3:20 pm) [edit] |
So who won the debate last night? I think Kerry looked strong, but I was more concerned about other things. Like looking at moderator Jim Lehrer's eyes and realizing he looks like a fucking android. It made me uncomfortable. (don't believe me, look at this: http://news.siu.edu/photos/Le...) And did anyone hear when Bush made the 'keep them on the leash" comment about his daughters? Whats up with that? Do all oil baron coke sniffing cowboys keep their children on leashes in Texas? Jesus. Also, I realized Bush has no poker face. He was visibly angry throughout the whole thing. But Kerry was cool as ice. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I noticed when Bush mentioned Yale, he winked at Kerry. Know why? This conspiracy freak does. They both went to Yale together, both were part of the same secret society, (Skull And Bones) where they no doubt performed convoluted godless pagan rituals with the bones of dead Native American heros together. (They say they have the bones of Geronimo.) Anyway, thats enough from me..What did you think?
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